Heavy Heart...

My heart is heavy this evening.  I debated upon writing about today online, but this blog is a series of thoughts and memories for my family, and it is only fitting.  Last Friday evening, the world lost a caring 10 year old boy doing what boys do best - playing in a tree.  His mom, my cousin Dorothy, was within shouting distance, along with his 7-year-old brother, and his family was forever changed by a simple accident. 
Tonight was his visitation, and I attended along with my parents and sister.  It was an absolutely beautiful evening, and a myriad of family and friends lined up down the street to pay respects to Derek and his family.  I cannot even begin to describe the emotions I was feeling as I saw his classmates at the church, coping with their loss, or looking at the enormous amount of flowers, the words of comfort and love from his classmates and friends on posters all around the sanctuary, or the raw emotions on all of our faces as we visited our friends and family and saw Derek for the last time. 
Heartbreaking.  Difficult.  How do you explain this to a 5-year-old?  Grayson had so many questions about life, Heaven, and why we need to leave the earth or die at all.  He commented about how much he wanted to stay on Earth forever, and that if he'd ever lose his daddy, he could get another one...what do you say to that?  I answered with my love and lots of hugs.  It is just a child trying to make sense of this event we call life.  It is a time like this that makes me appreciate all I have, and the beauty of life and relationships with people.  I hope I never lose sight of what matters most, no matter how much is on my to-do list.

Back in Business...

Sooo...it's been a long while since I have visited or written in my blog.  Life, work, whatever, I just got out of the routine.  I'm in a digital literacy grad class right now, and have discovered once again how much I love to play with technology.  A project led me back to my blog, and I think it's high time to write about our family life again.  Here goes...

Nolan:  "Oh, you have an owie, Momma."
Me:  "I do?  Where?"
Nolan:  (points to the ever-attractive pimple on my forehead) "Right there, Momma.  On your head."

It's so wonderful that my kids are watching out for me.  Looks like I should invest in some better concealer.  The best part?  I am amazed every day at what a good speaker Nolan is.  He cracks us up every day. 

Let's not forget about Grayson either.  Tonight the boys and I had our first Friday night alone (Russ now works nights on Fridays), and we watched "Chipwrecked".  The kids had seen it before, but still love it.  Their favorite part?  The music.  They rocked out during the ending credits, and I was amazed, once again, and how much rhythm Grayson has!  He LOVES to dance, and it seems like he could be pretty good at it.  I've asked him about taking dance lessons before but he hasn't been interested.  He seems to be now, so I should really look into it.

Nolan loves to be just like his big brother.

So much more to write, but it's on to homework for me...

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/3X6VM2N

Grayson

So I've caught up a bit with Nolan...it's time for our big guy. 

 You love anything to do with flight...Daddy bought you a foam plane that is a flashback from his youth.  It has been a fun thing to play with on the few nice days we've had.  I can say, from experience, that flying it near trees on extremely windy days can be risky (thanks to our neighbor Derek for the rescue efforts). 

 You love constructing things as well.  You are in the middle of a big project now - building a road on the brick patio. 

In your spare time, you are a budding photographer.  Here's a picture of Rhino on a run in the kitchen, compliments of your sharp eyes...

Other things to remember...

-We are continually amazed at the depth of your love toward others.  You have a quick, charming smile, and are fast to share a hug when you're happy.  As I mentioned in Nolan's blog, you are an amazing big brother, and you love your Nolan so much!  You taught your little brother how to hug, and we love watching the two of you sharing a little squeeze each day.  We are working on sharing toys together, but that will come with time. 

-In March, you graduated from the NICU program at Children's, passing your kindergarten screening with flying colors.  Through some extensive testing, we saw that you are very gifted in your verbal skills, and extremely gifted in your reasoning skills (is this why you are so good at trying to convince me to change my mind?).  We'd contemplated starting K in the fall, as you are mentally ready, but we want to wait to give you the best preparation we can for the rigors of life and school as you grow up. 

-You are a picky eater much of the time, but you are getting very skilled at knowing what food is made of, and how it helps/hurts your body.  We've been working hard as well at keeping your teeth in good shape, but we saw your first cavity this week :(.  I took it somewhat personally, but Dr. Pat was not so hard on me, as Grayson has some deeply grooved teeth that will prove to be a challenge forever (just like his mom)...

-You love to play games, and excel at building puzzles.  You showcased your skills last week with Grandpa JR when we visited Grandma in the nursing home.  I love to watch your concentration when you work on puzzles!

-Grandma Joyce is the apple of your eye!  Whenever we spend time with her, you want her to be at your side, experiencing life.  She loves this so much, and your dad and I enjoy seeing the two of you bonding...

-Even though we no longer have dogs, you LOVE the neighborhood animals, and can't keep yourself from a friendly head scratching of our canine friends.

You love books, and enjoy sounding out words everywhere you go (this has been so thrilling to me!).  Tonight, I found our copy of The Cat in the Hat.  I opened to the first page, and you began to READ the page to me, sounding out the words and blending the sounds, then identifying the words, just like I do with my primary kids at school EVERY DAY!  We ran downstairs to show Daddy our new skills, and I was so very proud of you!  I am so thrilled you are beginning to experience the magic of reading...I love you so much!



Falling off the blogosphere...

Avoidance is bliss...I am so far behind on writing my blog!  It plagued my mind often, and I always found myself thinking of things I want to record forever, but as each day passed without logging on, the project grew evermore daunting.  I guess I need to begin by apologizing to Nolan, as a month in his life is very consequential at this point.  Here I go in trying to make some notes of his milestones so I can share with him someday...now I know why my baby book is so sparce (I forgive you, Mom...) :)

 We have spent much time with Grandpa JR and Grandma Chari on the phone and in person.  Things have been rough lately, but you and your brother, along with Cousin Dylan make their world sparkle with hope and life.  You adore them so much, and get so excited to be near them!

 Great Gramie is having some trouble with her mind and memory, but her heart is full of love for you.  You also enjoy being around her so much - she makes you smile!!

 We've been amazed for such a long time at how well you can handle small objects.  Sand wasn't your favorite thing to play with on the few days we've been able to play outside, but you do like to handle rocks and the like.  You have a very good arm for throwing!

Since the beginning of your life, you have searched out your big brother...things haven't changed a bit!  In fact, you live for him, and adore him to pieces!  You even began saying your own version of his name ("Gay-Gay") in March, much to our surprise and his delight!  You love to wake him up in the morning and give him love, hugs, and smacks on the head. :)

Your milestones as of late:

-You finally made a push to cut some teeth at 11 months old.  You now have 6+ teeth, though you don't like us to look into your mouth much.  You like to bite when you are hungry or really frustrated!

-You love to say "Mom" when you want me, which is music to my ears.  "Dada" was your first word, but I am in the forefront now!  You babble constantly, and have some sounds for specific things.  We've been working on sign (we see "eat" and "more" frequently), but you can get your point across well without your hands! 

-You can make noises very well for cows, sheep, and chickens, as those are the animals on your wallpaper border in your room.  We point to them and talk about them during changing time every day.

-You are a very independent eater and drinker.  We have many fights with a spoon, so your daddy and I have worked hard to prepare food you can mostly feed yourself.  You've also let it be known at daycare that you drink milk on your own.  :)

-You are not walking yet, but you love to cruise furniture, hold hands, and stand up to find forbidden objects on higher surfaces.  You will also do whatever it takes to madly dash to the stairs and crawl up them, laughing like a maniac.  We repeat this scene at least 5 times a day.

-We are guaranteed to get a good belly laugh when you take a bath with your big brother.  You both get a big kick out of splashing around and pouring water everywhere (including on your parents). 

-You are loved by everyone!  What a little charmer you are...

January thoughts...

It's been awhile yet again in my blogging world, so here are some of the highlights from the last month...

• The holidays were quiet, toy-filled, and very snotty.  Let's just say that the year 2010 will forever be remembered as "the year of the doctor" for the Schmidt family, and late December was no exception.  Since Grayson was born, I've become pretty knowledgeable on childhood illnesses, but I learned a new one just after Christmas - "parapertussis"... it was kind of humorous to have our boys on the same medicine within two weeks of eachother, as well as the fact that we have a very close relationship with all the people at our pediatric practice.  Here's to hoping we don't max out our copays so soon this year...
• My medicines are working pretty well - my hives are minimal, and I am tolerating the world better now.  I feel a bit like a marshmallow at times, and have to work a bit harder each day to get dressed in my multiple layers, but I am warm.  I'm not feeling the desperate need to move quickly, though the opportunity did present itself just over a week ago.  LifeTime has a parallel position move open in Austin, TX for Russ, but the timing is not right for us.  Though I need some hive help, and don't love being drowsy all the time, we aren't ready to uproot yet.  My job is awesome and there are some promising things coming down the road.  I also can't overlook the investment I've made in my job as I've been in White Bear for 10 years now!!
• It's hard to believe, but Nolan is 9 months old now!  He's such a delight; he is perpetually happy, and adores everything that Grayson does, both good and bad.  He is a babbler, and is becoming a mover and shaker - he's finally begun to roll, spin around on his tummy, and army crawl when he wants to get at something (especially power cords - why is that?).  He also has begun to sign for us - he knows "food", and "all done".  Nolan is also beginning to be a bit of a stinker on the changing table - he wants to do anything else but keep his body in place to put the diaper on...

• Grayson is growing so quickly in his skills!  We've been playing many card games with him lately; he loves Garbage, Uno Attack, Go Fish, and Blink!, and he's very good at playing them.  We are working on being a good loser, though.  He is very compassionate and caring toward everyone lately as well - he's always ready to dole out hugs, and his conversations with us are filled with reminders of his love for us.  Even in his hardest moments he seems to find a way to make us love him more and more! 
• My reading-teacher mind went crazy the other evening.  Russ and I were spelling the word "bath" to one another in deciding the evening roster.  Grayson asked, "B-A-T-H" - what does that spell?"  I asked him to provide the letter sounds for me, and he did so correctly.  I didn't think he could blend the word together as "th" is a digraph with a different sound when used together, but all of a sudden he said, "Bath?  Is it bath night? Yay!"  Our jaws dropped.  I was thrilled!  I tried it again the next morning with some success - he is beginning to develop some higher-level phonics skills!  Bring it on!
 
• Russ continues to work both positions at LTF, and his schedule was a bit hairy for the last month.  However, they brought in another person for sales, which has stabilized his world a bit again.  We've also enjoyed spending a bit more time at the club as Grayson's been in U Swim school for the last 6 weeks.  His swimming skills are coming along, though he says he doesn't like to float because he sinks.  :)

Cold...



"bare" tracks



I am sitting here listening to my baby boy as he struggles to go to sleep.  Bless Nolan's beautiful heart, but he cannot seem to go to sleep on his own lately.  He was such a rock star a few months ago; I thought he had mastered it and we were in like Flynn.  I was completely wrong...have we created a monster?  He craves our cuddles and mommy's milk at bedtime, and if he doesn't have his routine 100% in place, we hear about it in a big way!!  We know we will need to have the "great cry-out" soon, and we're gearing up to prepare.  As with all little kiddo crises, we know that this will too pass.

I call Nolan my baby, but he is nearly 8 months old!!  Where has the time gone?  I thought time moved so much more slowly when Grayson was a baby...I attribute the racing of the clock to many factors now, though, including work, Russ's heavy schedule, and Grayson, who is constantly in motion.  I wouldn't trade it for the world, though I do long for the day when I have my own identity again...it will happen some day!

We are still fighting with various germs in the house, as Grayson was marooned at home Mon and Tues with a cold and fever.  We took our turns as stay-at-home parents, and I really enjoyed my day with Grayson, as it was the first day we've had alone since Nolan's birth.  I can say with certainty that he enjoyed it as well!  We've also been busy with projects here and there, and even took time to have 3 sets of friends and their kids over.  Absolute chaos, but totally worth every minute!!  We've also been gearing up for Christmas and the time off from school and daycare.  We've even been in contact with Santa to let him know that we will be in Lake City on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning.  He reminded us to pack our stockings!!  Grayson is estatic!

Working on a shelving project with Daddy...

 Our biggest contention lately (or, should I say, mine) has been the snow and cold.  I have been a visitor to Mayo two times lately to be officially diagnosed with cold-induced urticaria, and along with my doctor have built an action plan.  Let's just say this good-old MN winter is NOT helping - I had the worst hive outbreak that came on very quickly Monday morning, even when I prepared hard for it - and it was extreme enough for Russ and I to contemplate the possibility of moving south in the not-so-distant future.  I should buy stock in wool, long underwear, and turtlenecks for now - Heaven only knows what the future holds!



Crawling practice...



Germs

It is 9:55 PM.  The kids are finally in bed, and Russ just walked through the door.  After nearly a month of fighting germs, I am hopeful that the tables are turning.  We have been through surgery, colds, sinus infections, ear infections, and strep throat - let's just say that we are happy we've been maxed out on copays for a long while.  We are on nearly a first-name basis with our pediatricians, and even Grayson is bemoaning going to the doctor at all.  I just had to share a Graysonism related to this idea...

The kiddo and I were tucked into his bed reading when this conversation occurred:
"Mommy, what is in your nose?"
"Snot."
"I know what's in your nose, Mommy.  Germs.  Germs are in your nose."
"Yes, your nose has Germs, honey."
"Do you know what germs are called in Spanish, Mommy?"
"No, what are they called?"
"They're CREATURES." 

He cracks me up!